Sunday February 27th Brain-Dump

 Health-anxiety is back and with a vengeance. I'm now obsessing over specific symptoms I've experienced for quite some time - and of course worried about the "c" word. I will not elaborate here, as I've spewed it out into the dark corners of Reddit, and I don't feel like doing it again. I'll maintain some semblance of peace in this space (for what reason, I don't know, perhaps that isn't being honest). I of course will follow through and get this sorted out (for my own sanity's sake) but the question is: how to remain level-headed, prioritise, and stay happy in the interim? 

Ah, the dreaded uncertainty. Dreaded mortality. Dreaded.. dread. 

These are the moments where I take a peek at the true stuff I am made of. What I am actually afraid of? Death, it seems. Leaving my daughter behind without getting to see her grow. Cutting short my life adventures. But, am I actually living life to the fullest? If this is what I am afraid of, why do I stay cowering in my house, letting my life pass me by? Not seizing the moment? 

I'll get through this. I usually do. But I want to make sure I stay sane during this trial - and learn from it. Really learn from it. Become better for it.