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All of My Worst Fears Only Exist in My Head

It's Thursday January 1st, 2026. I'm writing this in my kitchen in my exercise bike set up, it gives me a lot of release and comfort. It's 5:10PM and Stella is with Mitchell. I'm always excited for her to spend time with him so I can finally "get things done," but once she's gone I miss her so much and I turn inward and feel depressed. I don't end up accomplishing much on nights like these, but I think it's imperative that I write down how I feel today. I've been feeling a a lot. Today is overall a lovely January day, sunny, despite the bite in the air. Just came in from a walk a few minutes ago and my hands still haven't regained any warmth, they feel like little claws on the keyboard as I type.  I feel so fatigued today. I'm sure PMS and the 4 espressotini's last night doesn't help my state by any means, but I feel this exhaustion in my bones. I feel a lot of sorrow today, in this moment particularly, being alone in my little ...

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