The Pursuit of Brevity

Fuck.

It's been a tough eight months. I need to heal. I keep opening the wound thinking I can handle it, thinking it will finally make sense. It just never does. One thing is very certain: I have to love myself. I have to believe I will be ok, I have to believe I am beautiful and deserve love. I have to let go of the heaviness and hopelessness and negative self-talk.

I really can't do the negative anymore. I can't: not for me, not for Stella. She deserves a mom who is happy. 

Going to go to SLAA. Going to actually do a purge.